Crazy Saturday

Yesterday was hell.

So much more tiresome than a regular day. Let's see....I got up at 8 and went to work (of the official type) from 9-11 am. I ran back and had a quick lunch. Ran back to the quad to hear a keynote speaker on activism in society. It was good. He really chained everything together. It was sad to listen to though. So many things not pretty and nice. It makes me realize how much of a realist I am with an optimist right under the surface. Halfway through, a post-middle age man with a US Navy sweatshirt on stands up and makes a big scene. "That's full of shit." - methinks that's the exact wording. And stomps out in a hissy fit. It was so very absurd. If you know me, I couldn't help myself from bursting out in laughter. It was so childlike. In a grown bearded man. O-So-Sad. Oh well. What can you do?

Afterwards I ran back to start reading my Shakespeare.

...had dinner. Went to see a dorm-mate, Jason, compete in Stanford's men gymnastic opens. I was very chaotic but very highly-energetic. I had fun. Jason won third overall individual. That was good. Then, I ran home. I changed into my drunk prom outfit and biked to Dance Marathon.

*Dance Marathon is a philanthropy event in which the participants pledge to party for 24 hours in the name of a cause. 250 student participants will stay awake and on their feet for twenty-four hours in an effort to symbolize both the mental and physical challenges faced by children suffering from AIDS. At the event, there will a variety of activities and student performances to keep dancers entertained and inspired for all 24 hours. This is Stanford's first Dance Marathon - proceeds will benefit the Elizabeth Glaser AIDS Pediatric Foundation. Space is limited to 250 dancers, so Register Now! *

I didn't do 24 hours but, I did 4 as a Moraler. (from 9pm-1am)

*Moralers are responsible for supporting and motivating dancers throughout the TWENTY FOUR HOUR Dance Marathon. They are enthusiastic, caring, and not afraid to have fun! They lend their support by dishing out tons of encouragement, joining in on activities, and of course, partaking in a little dancing. *

I did a lot of dancing. I was a bit crazy. (more so than usual) I also had fun. But, I wore hard dress shoes and danced in them for four hours. Last night was no fun for my feet. My entire body felt broken. I went to bed at about 3 last night. I was waiting for a call. ..... It did finally come. But, I was so bummed out.

So, today....being Sunday....I had to do lots of homework. I also worked today. I filled in for someone. Then I went to Lake Lagunita with Chris. I had fun. So, now I'm looking forward to Simpsons at 8pm.

so very tired.....so very sad.....

Today I saw a very sad tree. It was dead with dry moldy branches staggering into its surrounding. Jagging into the pale blue sky and piercing into the lush green grass all around it. Being awkward. Looking forlorn. Sad......me. Furthermore, it was broken and fell to the ground. It arched into the ground again. Falling back to where it came from. A leaf-less stark creature stagnant agains a temperate background - from golden death to vibrantly verdant life.

Am I too obsessed with the utterly desolate? Chris thinks so.

Anyhow, Friday was busy too. I worked until 6pm. Then I don't remember what else happened that night. Just that I was sad. (hmm...this is a reoccuring motif)

Well, don't know what else to say. (I probably do, but not on the top of my head.) So, this is when I know I should stop.

I still haven't received an answer. (Not really expecting one though).

*sighs*

Our French group during break. Lovely Kathy, Goofy Kyle, Melancholic Tri, Artsy Whitney, Quiet Joel, Precise Skye. .... the rest are also from break. 

The crazy ol' gang. Missing alot of people. Missing parts of people. Missing.....a completeness. Missing or loss? In time I guess I'll know. 

Me and sterile Dallas. 

Me and Reny at DMA during break. I had lots of fun with a good friend. I got to ride my first trolley. Ha....food was nice in retrospect.

Three Day Break

Two weeks done.

I finished the second week with more problem sets and a French test. How exciting! So, now I'm reading more Shakespeare and doing stuff. It's 2 in the morning right now. So....I might not be the most coherent person. But, that's okay.

The dense sky is letting off. I went to the lake last night by myself. The stars were quite brilliant and the crescent moon added a very modest touch to the overall panoramic. The lake actually had some water in it. A little more than a puddle. After sitting on a pole by the lake for about an hour thinking, I went dancing with friends. No booze though. Always none. Hahaha....I don't even know what type of drunk I am. But, I'll find out soon enough with Maren. It's coming up......

Remember my balloon of happiness? Well, it died. Nothing but a hanging sack of rubber now. Dangling......rather unmajestically from my window with its brother, the black balloon of unhappiness - which is still inflated. My roommate is asleep.

I'm totally by myself this weekend - it seems like. Maybe soon enough, I'll just get used to it. I'll grow to expect nothing more. Accept the fate that after all, I'm still doomed to eternal soledad. Then, things will just happen. No more wasteful hoping and waiting. Just realistic spending of time. I have a microwave now.

I want it to rain and thunder. I want it to pour and scream. I want to feel nature. I need it.

Argh!

Just a passivity now. Just a re-occurence of things in its monotomy. I got a job at the library. Now I smile to strangers more often and more methodically - the generic. Sometimes I want to jump across the counter and get into someone's face and shout at them for their banality. Just yell at their insipidness. Force them back into a meaning. Rather than prod through a listless life devoid of veracity. I guess I like my job. I see more of my professors. I get to see more books. I get to be by myself.

I strikes me that I need someone to attach to.

MLK is this week. I get another day at home/dorm. When will it be synonymous? Never? I don't know. No more safety net of mom and dad home. Just me standing. Just wandering. Itinerant. Inquirer? Forager? meandering.......

I'm actually for most of the time happy. I think I have found what I'm looking for. Just waiting for it to come about successfully. But, knowing me, it's not gonna be any easy. Complication is most closely related to me. I need to just ....... I don't even know most of the time. If you could only tell me.

So, it does come off quite clearly that I'm doing too much thinking. I probably just need more things to do so that I'll be pre-occupied and not think as much. My eternal curse.
(the irony of words......curse and cures.....one simple inversion)

same as service and servitude - just one extra syllable. just one more utterance. just one extra second. All the difference of the world. The humour of humanity and its creations.
(this is from Hythloday of Thomas More - how I sympathize wi'thee)

Show me an answer that worked for you.

Me at the dunes. (squinty eyed and funny haired) 

I think this is a great picture. A pensive solitude against a background of majestic nature. 

birds on the dune - pelicans, methinks 

me and birds.... (I scared them away ....rather, I scared them into flying) 

beach sunset... 

more beach... 

Guadelupe Beach - taken by my Uncle. 

ME BAK!

Indeed. Tri is back.

It has been a very long hiatus. But December was way too busy. Oh well. Many things needed to be done and what-not (exams, flying back and forth, home, friends, family, the whole escargot!) occured. But, finishing this first week of back to school has given me some time again. Time as in extra free time. So, I'll try to fill in the blanks.

I did moderately well for my first quarter. I guess I had fun. But, after exams ended and other things happened, I was really ready to go home into a deep hibernation. Which I did. It was good. I had time away to think through things in the regularity of home. I lost five pounds first quarter and gained it all back over break. That happens when you sleep for about 11 hours a day and all you do is eat and read. And I did a lot of it. I'm also less tanned. My mom was happy that she could make me fatter and paler. But, now I'm back and I'm ready to get darker and lose weight because of my laziness for eating. So.....the journey continues.

I actually got back on the day school started (Tuesday). However, I didn't know that it was Tuesday - it was still Monday in my head. (leave it up to me to forget something like that) I was ready for a Monday. But, lo-n-behold, it was Tuesday. However, I didn't miss a single class. It was kinda interesting that the supershuttle that I was on only had Texan passengers. I meet an econ grad student, a singing tennis player and a field hockey girl. It was indeed quite variegated.
But, I'm back to the old grind of classes and work. I'm doing English, Econ, French, and Orgo. I'm quite excited about the organic. I'm in my comfort zone again. So, much to do and look forward to.

This weekend was actually supposed to our snow/ski trip to Lake Tahoo. Sadly, Stanford's risk management department cancelled all ski trips due to big snow storm at Tahoo. (I didn't even know Stanford had one of those.) So, I get to sit in my dorm instead. YAY!!!! Can't you just feel my excitement. I'm brimming. You should come see me.

But, yeah.....for Thanksgiving - big flashback - I went to So Cal to visit my grandparents. It was also extremely family-filled. But, I ate alot of food and got some stuff. So it was good. I drove down with a dorm mate and up with my Uncle Huan. We went along the 101 and saw some pretty awesome landscape. We took a detour and stopped by the Guadelupe Sand Dunes on the Pacific beach. It was quite stunning to view. I'll post the pictures.

In Arlington, I got to see most of my good friends. I just hope we don't continue to drift apart. With some people, I feel like it's never gonna be the same again. Which makes me sad. Hmmm.... But, I did have fun. So, I guess that's what really counts.

Well, I don't know what else to say for now. Oh, I'm getting to know someone really well. And I'm really liking the person. I think this friendship might be a good sticker. It's something for me to look forward to. I'm excited. And the good part is that I pretty sure the feeling is reciprocal. I've had enough of these things when I am the only one putting out the effort. It's nice to have it returned.

So with this good note, I bid thee reader adieu. Je m'en vais. I'll be back soon.